Last year was hard – one of my hardest years yet. Too much to go into, but I had to grieve major losses and transitions in pretty much every area of my life. I spent the Christmas break feeling the weight of this past year and mourning all of the things that will never be the same again.
The last time I had a really hard year was in 2009. When I look back, although it was so painful, it produced more breakthrough and fruit in a short time than I could have imagined. So, I am believing that this last year will launch me forward too. Although I was aware of so much loss I could also sense the beginning signs of new life breaking through.
It’s taken me a long time to see myself as a capable human being. I grew up feeling smaller than everything – smaller than cooking, cleaning, organizing, business, money, opportunities, other people, etc etc. EVERYTHING in life felt too big for me. When I met Justin, he was the first person to call me out for living like a victim. He basically said, “You can be awesome so learn how to be awesome. Life’s not too hard for you, you can handle it. I’m not going to coddle you because you are a powerful woman even though you can’t see it yet.” Since that loving kick in the butt I have faced fears and grown how I see myself in my minds eye. Feeling like an adult isn’t an age or a onetime event. It’s a series of moments and a perspective shift. It’s taken me nine years, and I can finally tell you that I am at the tipping point of crossing into feeling and seeing myself like a real adult.
This year, I’m being forced to become an adult. Sometimes life throws things at you that feel bigger than you and you have to grow in order to face them. I was praying that God would remove the mountain in front of me when I heard the whisper in my heart, “You are strong enough.” I instantly knew that some strength doesn’t show up until it is demanded. I can see that this will be the year I rise to the challenge, face life head on, and see how powerful I really am. #soreadyforthis #letsdothisthing #adulting2017 #igotthis